A Year of Change

Posted on December 21, 2012 by ashleynrobinson | Leave a comment

The first blog post I wrote on this website almost a year ago was about the “One Word” that I was choosing to live by in 2012. With what I now recognize as an impressive amount of foresight, humility, and a good dose of crippling fear, I chose “change”. Even now, it feels empowering to say that I chose change, instead of feeling like change was always choosing me. I knew then that change would define this year, and I’m grateful that I embraced it.

Without question, this has been one of the most change-filled years of my life. When I look back to last December, I’m looking into a totally different life. I was on the brink of transition, ready to find the next phase of my life. I was preparing to leave behind a place that had defined me for years (and which will always hold a big piece of my heart). I was unknowingly about to experience months of heartbreak, soul-searching, doubt, questioning, and ultimately, self discovery and renewed confidence. There were many times in the months that followed that I sat on the floor and sobbed, whether out of confusion and frustration at a relationship that was rapidly falling apart, fear and sadness for leaving the place I loved, exhaustion from tirelessly working to finish my degree, or the mixture of apprehension, anxiety, and abandon that I fondly refer to as “quarter-life crisising”.

In those and numerous other challenging moments, “change” became my mantra. I have reminded myself quite frequently over the past 12 months that I am choosing change. I want change; I love change. It hurts like hell sometimes. But when I commit myself to something, you had better believe I’m going to follow through. Had I not gifted this magical word to myself at the beginning of the year, would I still have gotten through all of the transitions in my life? Most likely. However, I really believe that I met these challenges with greater conviction, grace, and faith than I would have otherwise. I defined myself as a lover of change; I chose my attitude in anticipation of what I thought was coming for me. In many ways, I got more than I anticipated; but I was ready.

Today I feel that I’m better off than I was a year ago. Yes, I have a degree and a full-time job now (whew), but it is more than that. I have a better sense of who I am and what matters to me. I have, in many ways, reclaimed permission to fully be who I want to be. I realize that my life will always hold changes. Likely, there will be other years similar to this one, during which I will turn to my good old friend Change and ask her to hold my hand along my journey. After all, Change and I are well-acquainted now.

“Actually, I’m a professional staff member…”

Posted on August 25, 2012 by ashleynrobinson | 2 Comments

Oh, the plight of a new professional in ResLife: everyone thinks I’m an undergrad. And by everyone, I mean mostly the students and parents who arrived this weekend. My staff gets it for obvious reasons. Really, though, it’s tough to be 24, live on a college campus (in a residence hall), and not be mistaken for an undergrad.

Several well-meaning parents asked me this weekend “So what year are you?”, at which point I explained to them that I am actually a professional staff member with a master’s degree and I oversee all of the student staff, programming, student conduct, etc in these buildings. One mother told me “Oh, well that’s a cool job; you’re a full time staff member and everything?”

Ugh. Yes. And everything. I get paid, even. I have benefits. I have an advanced degree! I know what I’m doing! It’s really tough not to be frustrated with these kinds of questions. Students are equally confused when I shake their hand and say “Hi, I’m Ashley, I’m your Hall Director”. One senior even said “Wait, really? How old are you?” ( I think lots of students have a crazy moment when they shift from the assumption that I was a peer to the knowledge that I am a professional. They realize that they can’t be friends with me/hit on me/go out to a bar with me, etc. It really throws them for a loop).

Students were particularly surprised when I was playing volleyball with several RAs and residents tonight (I was wearing gym clothes and none of the typical “HD” markers like a polo or nametag). I almost felt guilty, like I was going incognito by wearing gym shorts and then introducing myself later. I felt weird about acting my age, and nearly didn’t tell the student who asked me how old I was. But I did tell him that I’m 24. Because I am.

I’m 24; I have a master’s degree, and I’m their Hall Director. I decided what I wanted to do with my life when I was their age and I’m thrilled every day about the job I have now. I’m qualified for my position and that doesn’t mean that I’m always going to be sitting in my office wearing dress clothes. I’m going to be part of the community that I oversee, as a role model for good behavior, integrity, and experience in the college environment.

So yeah, I look a lot like my students. And parents, you look a lot like my parents. But really, I know what I’m doing here. This is my real job. Trust me; I’m a professional.

How have you dealt with difficulties in perception of age and experience as a new professional?

About Me

Posted on January 13, 2012 by ashleynrobinson | Leave a comment

I am a graduate student Higher Education and Assistant Community Coordinator for Residence Life at the University of Maine. I am interested in orientation and new student programs, residential education, first year student development, and diversity and social justice on college campuses, specifically related to social justice ally development, access to higher education, and transition and retention of traditionally underrepresented students.

I am also an active member of the National Association for Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA), as a Graduate Associate, Region I Conference intern, and member of the Maine Association for Student Affairs Professionals. I enjoy sharing my love of the profession with aspiring undergraduates, increasing awareness of professional opportunities, and sharing knowledge with my peers.

I am a native Rhode Islander and adopted Mainer with a love for cooking, college hockey, and the outdoors. I am a proud Gamma Sigma Sigma alumna and a Black Bear at heart. My philosophy in life is to ask myself every day if I have helped someone.

This blog is the next step in my goal to use the online world to the best of my abilities in my work. I have gained incredibly from the online Student Affairs Communities on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, and I am excited to take the next step with an official website of my own.

So, should you choose to follow my adventures here, what will you find? I can promise lots of insights about change and transition, loosely detailed chronicles of my job searching, musings on social justice, privilege, and oppression, the trials and tribulations of residence life and working with first year students, and anything else higher ed that crosses my path. A bit of a grab bag, isn’t it? You can’t blame me, though, because I’m the new kid. I’m still figuring this all out!